2008: year of the rotten rat

In dedication to
the innocents who lost their lives at the hands of the f***ing terrorists who took us by surprise at Mumbai;
the hundreds of innocent children who lost their beautiful little lives at the hands of the Israeli BASTARDS.
May the peace which eluded you in life be with you in death at least.

"Oh Men of free spirits, where the HECK is your Goddamn God?"

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DISCLAIMER
Be warned that most of what is being said here are just exaggerated versions of what might actually have happened. No complaints, grievance or threats by anyone will be entertained. Any such comments will IMMEDIATELY be removed from the blog. In short: I do not give a damn about what anyone thinks, and be advised that you are entering at your own peril onto a minefield! In case you are foolish enough to be offended by the crap I type up, better buzz off before its too late to turn back!

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Synopsis

The Chinese claim that 2008 was the "Year of the rat". It was indeed the year of the rotten rat for the pilgrim as well; his year began with:

1. a Goddamn university exam staring down his 'handsome' face,
2. him getting dumped rather unceremoniously by a rather good looking female,
3. him getting caught at home for bunking his exams, and
4. him behaving as if he were out of his bloody mind;

and it ended with:

1. another Goddamn university exam kicking his butt,
2. him- after passing through the four stages of Denial ("This can't be happening, not to me!"), anger ("NO! NO! How can this happen?!"), Bargaining ("I'll do anything, can't you stretch it out? A few more years."), and Depression ("I'm so sad, why bother with anything?")- reaching the fifth and final stage of Acceptance ("I can't fight it, I may as well learn from it.") about getting dumped,
3. him convincing his folks that they can trust him (with a host of lies, I must add!), and
   
4. him trying to behave as if he was in perfect harmony with everything around him (what a fake!)

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The 'love' story that never was

I'll make it short and quick, here's the final piece of conversation between the pilgrim and his crush(?!).
pilgrim (after sending his ego on a tour to the outer space) : Did you ever have any feelings for me?
girl (very pleasantly, as if she was at her own marriage ceremony, laughing) : I'm sorry, no. It was just that I thought I was in love with you, but I wasn't actually in love with you.
pilgrim (to himself, inside his head) : Lord save the poor soul whom she would "actually" fall in love with, some day!

tailpiece: In case you failed to notice, some of the words have been stressed using italics and bold fonts. Try reading and comprehending the exact meaning of what I'm trying to say here! Btw, how does one realize whether he is in 'actual' love or not?! :)

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Examination woes

There once used to be a time when the pilgrim would turn stone- stiff even at the utterance of the word 'exams'. The good news is that he has grown over that, thanks to the Goddamn engineering course which practically drills him with exams: on an average, he was supposed (specially note the word 'supposed' in italics!) to face 18 University Question Papers (most of which he 'successfully' dodged!), 24 Series Question Papers (most of which managed to hit him by his nuts!), and an innumerable Supplementary and Improvement Question Papers. And to top it all, there were 'Surprise Tutorials' conducted by certain semi- retarded teachers who did not give a damn about what their students have to go through.

tailpiece: Now for the bad news: he has become addicted to exams, and is reported to have been seen at all kind of exams: from KG to the Civil Services. It has also been reported that government offices have installed a 'pilgrim- tracking- and- eliminating' device at all their sites of exams!

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The 'internal' bleeding

Right from his first year at college, the pilgrim has had a way with attendance and internals: one under in S1S2 (while all others were singing hymns of praise about their 'kind' teachers who had awarded them with so much internal marks!), which later on improved to a mighty 6 unders in S3 (out of a mere 8 papers!), then went on to 7 out of 8 in S4(with a RECORD- BREAKING 7 marks for HM labs!) and finally dipped slightly to 3 out 8 in S5(with 70 % internal marks!). And the crazy truth is that the last 3 internals all were scored in the 'year of the rotten rat'!

tailpiece: The pilgrim is desperately in search for a cure for his internal bleeding. For the first and last time, advices are welcome. But DO NOT overdo!

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TO BE CONCLUDED IN THE NEXT POST